I come from a family of veterans. My parents are veterans. Both of my grandfathers were veterans. Both of my uncles on my father’s side and one of his sisters are veterans. My brother is a veteran, too. And while technically I am also a veteran, having served three years in the Army, I don’t feel like a veteran.
This leaves me feeling odd this time of year, with Veterans’ Day approaching, because inevitably, I’ll be thanked for my service.
How do I tell them that I didn’t really do anything in the Army? Sure, I raised my right hand and volunteered to serve. Went to Basic Training, which I loved to pieces for the most part, minus some of the shitty things that happened to recruits because of past recruits, like how injured Soldiers were treated. Like we were all faking it… (I’m a master, I tell you, making my ankle swell up bigger than a softball, but yeah.)
I loved the camaraderie, the requirement that I was responsible for my own actions, and the sense of accomplishment as I ran that last APFT in immense pain that throbbed like a bass drum behind the joy of what I’d just done.
But that injury I received (like a gift, but not) in Basic Training stalled my career track, because the Army doctors refused to acknowledge that I was injured and called me a liar in not so many words, when I explained how my ankle gave out when I was standing or walking or just existing. That battle kept me on active duty for three years as a long term reservist, but I never got out of the training environment.
Sure, I was quasi-permanent party for the last year, working as an orderly room clerk (not the 98C SIGINT Analyst I’d trained to be) while we worked through my medical board, but I never saw ‘real Army’ as a Soldier.
I didn’t deploy. I didn’t even get my first real, non-training permanent change of duty station. Instead I got out of the Army in 1996 on a medical board and an honorable discharge, only to marry back into it in 1997.
Army brat.
Army Soldier.
Army Wife.
Army ex-Wife.
Department of the Army Civilian.
But I qualify for veteran things, like joining the American Legion (St. Louis Service Women’s Post 404) and being in the Women’s Memorial in D.C., oh, and veteran’s preference for federal jobs. I’m sure there’s more, but I completely admit I don’t look, because I don’t feel like I deserve those things. Hell, I won’t even go get a free beer or meal on Veteran’s Day, because there are veterans far more worthy than I.
I don’t tell you this for sympathy or confirmation of my status as a veteran. I tell you this, because it’s my story, for what it’s worth. It’s not glamorous or inspiring. I just chose the Army until the Army no longer chose me.
It is what it is.
And I don’t want to tell you not to thank me, because I know your intentions are best, and for the very most part, for most of you, it’s not just lip service.
But if you really want to honor me and my fellow veterans, I really wish you’d do more than verbal platitudes.
- Stand up to a Congress that repeatedly gives us lip service and then takes away our benefits. More than once in my adult life, they’ve actually had to consider whether or not paying our troops was a viable sacrifice in the face of their budget standoffs.
- Demand better access to healthcare, especially behavioral health, for Servicemembers, because it seems we always have money to send us to war, but not enough to take care of us when we’re back, boots on the ground, here. Add in killing the stigma of seeking help, so that less veterans of all foreign wars are inclined to take their own lives. (The Truth about 22 Veterans Suicides a Day)
- Demand better resources for families. It’s totally true that the Servicemember isn’t the only one who serves, especially in times of war. And while, yes, there are some loudmouth, spouse-rank-wearing idiots out there, for the most part, these families just want their Servicemember to come home in one piece.
- Work on real solutions to the veteran homeless problem. It’s clear that big government isn’t interested in this problem as anything but a political talking point, and in many places, an interested public has helped a local government turn the tide against homelessness for veterans, by providing safe places for them to live without the unnecessary (and usually unobtainable/unmaintainable) caveats that seem to come with every government program. Ask your local government what they plan to do to help.
- Demand better transition services. Okay, so when you get out of the Army, they provide you access to services through your last installation. It’s typically a mandatory thing that you have to do before you get out. But what happens to those Soldiers who go home to places that don’t have a military installation? What about those who find themselves without a job afterwards, because no one seems to be hiring anymore? Or are injured but not enough to cover basic living expense (but they are too injured to work)?
These are my top five.
If you made it this far, thank you. I am grateful for your time today.
But how do you get involved?
My top three:
- Attend local city council meetings
- Find local organizations, like Habitat for Humanities, and local branches of national organizations, like VFWs, who are already putting their energies towards serving the local veteran population
- Find a soup kitchen
Not comfortable with hands-on getting involved? Then consider donating money and energy to established organizations who are: 7 Charities that Actually Help Veterans Beyond Veterans’ Day.
Are you a big introvert, like me?
You can still make a difference by communicating with your Congresspersons through programs like Resistbot (texting that leads to faxes and snail mailings) and 5Calls.Org (phone calls with numbers and scripts). They do all the work for you, so all you have to do is express your concerns and demands!
If this is the only thing I do with my veteran status — spreading information and helping people figure out where they should focus their energy all year vs our one day — then it’s enough.
Thank you for listening.
